~Reality Check~

    

     Working with children often provides opportunities for greater self reflection and assessment.  It also provides plenty of questions and hard reality checks.  I have recently begun spending Wednesday and Thursday afternoons tutoring a few students in an after-school program that we have just been granted.  Because one student’s(I will call her J) father works, he is sometimes unable to come and pick her up.  I have assured him that I do not mind taking her home in the afternoons. 

     I really love being able to help with or attend out-of-school activities with students, because you are really able to get to know and understand them in a way that isn’t quite possible in a classroom setting with twenty four other students.  I particularly like J both in and out of the classroom because she is a very “real” young lady.  She does not seem to care about popularity, gossip, or other teenage forms of daily drama.  She seems to be mature for her age and is sincere with her words.  Having taken her home several times, we have had the chance to talk about life, school, music, and several other “surface topics”.  I was aware from speaking with her father that J did not have a mother in her everyday life and that she was one of six children in their family.  I assumed this was the main contributor to her maturity and sense of reality. 

After making our usual stop for McDonald’s sweet tea, J asked me if I liked living in Enterprise.  I explained that I had grown up in Enterprise and thus knew many people and enjoyed  seeing the city grow and change.  When I asked her the same, she told me her father did not really like it and began to tell me a little about her family.  Apparently her mother battled alcoholism and drug addiction.  Three years ago, her father packed the children into their van in the middle of the night and they drove to Alabama to start a new life.  She said she could still remember sitting in the van and watching her father as he stood in the yard staring at their home.  She told me that she knew that he was contemplating whether or not he should actually leave this time.  She said he knew it would be best for the children even though he still loved their mother.  She then explained how they got gas money after their father helped a man fix his motorcycle.  After a day of driving, her father sold tools from his truck to a man who gave them money for breakfast.  Eventually they made it to Alabama and found a place to live and start over.

This family of seven now lives in a small trailer(where I know that not every child has their own bed to sleep in). I am not certain that they are always able to eat breakfast and dinner, much less buy school clothes, go to the movies with their friends, or even go out for a family dinner.  It hurt so bad to listen to J recount this story.  This fourteen year old girl has dealt with more pain and has had to have more responsibility than I have at twenty five.  Yet, she did not tell the story like it was sad or she wanted me to  have sympathy for her.  She spoke with a humble tone and positive outlook on the changes she has gone through. Would I be able to do the same?  Probably not…..so what does that say about me?

I am fully aware that this world is full of people with sad stories, enormous heartache, unsanitary living conditions, and amazing strength.  Children such as J serve as daily reminders of the ”realness” of this world.  They also remind us of our purpose on this Earth.  There is a fine line between enjoying something and allowing it to consume who you are.  Too often I find myself focusing on worldly measures.  On the morning that I took J home, I had been frustrated because I really wanted a $500 party dress that just wasn’t quite agreeing with my school teacher’s salary.  I felt so ashamed and immediately asked God’s forgiveness as I watched Jerilyn walk into her home.

 We are given a small amount of time in which to love others, do what we can to help, live honestly, and serve God with the gifts that he has given us(however big or small they might be).  I am going to strive daily to never forget my many blessings in life and to always use those blessings to help and encourage others.

Such is life ~

As I’m leaving work today, reflecting on my day and going through my mental “to do  list”, I pass the fiance of someone I used to date.  This woman and I do not know one another but are aware of who the other is.  This is not someone that I speak with or usually acknowledge simply because she spoke unkindly or me and spread false rumors while I dated the man she is now engaged to .  She begins to wave to me obnoxiously and I watch as she coaxes her four year old son to do the same.  I was left with no choice but to wave back and force a smile to my face while thinking that I can play the game just as well. 

But, of course, I’m left thinking about the previous relationship and how much I still care for this man, how wrong she is for him, why did I mess things up, blah blah blah.  Such is life, I suppose. 

A Little About Me….

I am a teacher, a daughter, a sister, and a friend.

I love sunny days, reading a great book, writing, and running.

I hope to make a positive contribution to this world and am seeking the path that God has chosen for me.

I teach eighth grade and absolutely love spending my time with young people. They maintain such a refreshing view of the world.

I am a complete contradiction in that I am obsessed with order and yet am full of such a chaotic variety of ideas and dreams.

I dislike the placement of judgement on another. Life is not as easy as simply categorizing people.

I am currently back in my hometown, where I have lived and worked for the last four years. I do love it, but part of me still feels very unsettled.

I would love to move to California(near the water) and write in some capacity.

A New Beginning

As I struggled to get dressed, eat breakfast, pack lunch, and feed the dog….all in the 20 minutes I allowed myself since I chose to sleep in…..I asked myself, “Is the rest of my day going to continue like this?”  Teaching 8th grade can often be as much of an emotional roller coaster as actually being in the 8th grade.  On a good day, one can feel the most amazing contentment in knowing a difference has been made, and on a bad day, one has experienced the desparity of hell. 

As first period began and my students were entering the classroom, I noticed a particular student who always has a hard time getting started and began to feel instant frustration.  I wondered how long it would take today for her to catch up to the rest of the class and get herself focused on being in school.  She put her stuff down and came back to where I was standing to ask, “Miss Avery, why are you always so angry with me?” 

As the day went on, I continued to think of this girl and what she had asked me.  As adults, we tend to categorize people and treat them in a manner suitable to the particular category.  There are few times when people are granted the opportunity for change in another’s eyes.  Maybe this is because we have been hurt or have become jaded by the ways of society, but it doesn’t leave room for much improvement.  I decided that there was something important that I could learn from these children that I teach.  Young people maintain a remarkable capacity to “forgive and forget”.  It seems that most everyday is a new beginning in their eyes and maybe I should strive to approach each day with the same concept.  By viewing one another with “fresh eyes” we not only give others the opportunity to grow and improve, but we allow ourselves that same privilege